Overheard in Las Veshmegas

Two notables from Calvin:

To our neighbor, just chit-chatting in the driveway, "My daddy gone to a conference in Las Veshmegas." (That'd be where Woody Allen and Al Pacino intersect.)

And to me, in passing, "Mommy, did you lose your REASON? Do you want your reason BACK?"

Yes. Please.