It's been a long time since I complained here about my children's sleep habits, right? So I hope no one minds a bit of a rant on that subject today; I need it. Having just wrestled Calvin down for a late morning nap, I have jangling nerves. This kid will not go down for a nap peacefully, and every time I have to put him down screaming it's like having a little bit of my soul sandpapered off. I hate it. But he's exhausted, no question about that, and he's about twenty pounds too heavy and a year too old to be carried, or driven too and fro, even if I were willing to do those things. Descriptions of soothing sleep routines make me laugh. And schedules-- more bitter, hollow laughter. Soothe all you want to, and try to put him down before he's wired-tired but the moment you actually have to put him down, get ready to have your blood curdled.
I am frankly amazed that other people are able to simply put a tired child down into their bed without this epic struggle. How can it be so utterly different with my children? What on earth are we doing wrong? Rhetorical question, of course! I don't believe in "Sleep Solutions" anymore and have tossed the book by that title right into the trash. And if you were hoping to borrow my copy of "The Baby Whisperer," you'll have to look for it there as well. It's right underneath those coffee grounds, and Audrey's soggy bran flakes from this morning.
Wow, hey, Kris-- sounding a little bit off kilter today, aren't we? Get a grip, woman!
There's a tiny wedge of a bright side to all this sleep horror: Audrey sleeps soundly through the night, every night. She quit napping entirely well before she turned three (and no, it's not because she no longer needs the sleep), but at least we can put her to bed and count on not hearing from her again until Calvin wakes her up in the morning-- which he does by marching down the hall and banging her door open like he's entering the saloon in a Western.
And every morning that I see this I know again how much I love them both and their indomitable spirits. For the next 18 or so years I will be seeing, I'm sure, hundreds of variations on this same theme. As adults they will never have to work through their issues with trying to please their mother because they do not appear to have this impulse-- and I know, in the bigger picture, I should be glad for this. I wish they could both just wait a few years before exhibiting this helpful trait quite so strongly.
2 comments:
I also have a reluctant napper. Though almost exactly the same age as Calvin, he's already on his way to eschewing them entirely. He hasn't taken a nap in his crib in weeks. No matter how exhausted, he won't do it. I am really not much happier than you are about using other means to get him down, but after an hour of listening to him crying in the crib I can fairly easily convince myself that a nice long walk (with the stroller) is just about what I need.
I am so grateful that you share your struggles here as it really makes me feel like I'm not the only struggling mama out there. And may I also mention that you are an awesome writer -- your description of having your soul sandpapered off just about slayed me.
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