Gentlemen:
Thank you for considering my application for membership to the brotherhood of Shriners. Although I am younger that most of your applicants, I think you will agree that I can be a great asset to your organization. Here are just a few reasons I would made a great Shriner:
-- I am cute, responsible, civic-minded, and an enthusiastic Good Will Ambassador in my community. Like many of you, I enjoy flirting with elderly women in grocery stores and other retail establishments, and I love how it always makes their day.
--I'm rockin' the red fez, as you can see.
--I am well suited to driving those little tiny cars you guys use.
--My membership would lower the average age of a Shriner by 75 years.
--I love the circus.
In conclusion, you have to pick me. Pick me! Pick me! Look at that face; how can you say no?
I eagerly await my acceptance letter and Shriner decoder ring.
Yours,
Calvin
1 comment:
That is hilarious. Kris, you should go into humor writing. :-) A family in our congregation experienced a Shriners hospital recently - it was an amazing place. Their daughter has had two *state of the art* surgeries for her scoliosis and it hasn't cost the family a *dime* - they don't even accept insurance. It's all charitable. I have new-found respect for the dudes in the fezzes who drove the little cars in our small town parade. I fully endorse Calvin's early membership!
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